The Gift of Being Surrounded

As I walk the Camino de Santiago, something deeper than the physical journey is unfolding. Being constantly surrounded by people—whether in hostels, along the trail, or through fleeting conversations—has brought to the surface a deeper layer of a long-unfolding process of letting go. A lifetime of patterns is surfacing to be seen and released.

There’s something about this path that doesn't allow space for old roles to hide. The role of the helper, the peacekeeper, the one who absorbs others’ discomfort just to maintain harmony; these identities are being seen for what they are: attempts to feel safe and loved through over-responsibility.

But now, in the midst of all these interactions, a deep fatigue has emerged—not just of the body, but of the soul. A tiredness from years of being the emotional anchor for others. A quiet, firm “no more” rising from within.

I no longer want to be the one people look to for relief, for answers, for energy. And yet, when I don’t offer what is silently expected, discomfort arises; in them, and sometimes in me. But something has shifted. Even the discomfort is welcome now. There’s room for it, too.

This journey is peeling away the subtle ways in which I abandoned myself to soothe others. It’s painful at times, but more than that, it’s freeing. Because what’s coming through is a clarity that doesn’t apologize.

No longer offering what costs me my own peace isn’t cruelty. It’s truth. And those who need me to break myself to meet their needs will call it cold. That’s okay.

This is the Camino—an unraveling of what was never truly mine to carry.

The nondual perspective 

And yet, in the midst of it all, nothing is ever truly held or released—just the timeless play of appearances in what already is whole and untouched.