Letting It Be True: Honoring the Weight of the Journey

For a long time, I tried to keep going. To function, to show up, to make it work—even when everything in me was exhausted. Even when the process of inner transformation was taking everything I had.

And yet, life kept asking. Bills to pay, jobs to keep, expectations to meet. And underneath it all, a subtle (or not so subtle) pressure to make it seem like I was handling it. Like I was okay.

But the truth is: it’s been pretty horrible at times.

Trying to function while the nervous system is unraveling years (or a lifetime) of holding; while emotional layers surface in waves, while the ground keeps shifting beneath your feet. It’s not just difficult—it’s almost impossible. And it’s okay to say that out loud.

It’s okay to say:

"This has been too much. I was doing my best. And my best was to just survive."

There is something profoundly healing in allowing the full truth to be spoken—without trying to fix it or wrap it in spiritual insight.

This is not about self-pity. It’s about making contact with reality—and reality includes the pain, the overwhelm, the exhaustion. Especially the exhaustion.

When that is acknowledged, without resistance, something in the system starts to soften. It no longer has to hold itself up through sheer will. It no longer has to pretend.

And that’s where real integration begins.

Not in solving it all—but in finally letting it be true.