The Exhaustion of Letting Go: Moving Through Deep Layers of Resistance

For much of life, we carry unseen burdens, tensions, defenses, and patterns of resistance—that quietly drain our energy. Often, we don’t even realize how much we’re holding until those layers begin to dissolve. When that happens, a surprising truth emerges: letting go can be exhausting.

Recently, I’ve been moving through a process of deep release, and it’s brought forward an intense bodily and mental fatigue. It’s not just a surface-level tiredness—it’s a profound exhaustion that seems to touch every part of me. As one layer of resistance dissolves, there’s a brief sense of openness, only to be followed by the emergence of another layer, and with it, another wave of fatigue. It’s as though my body is finally unwinding patterns it’s held for years, but the cost of that release is a deep need for rest.

What’s striking is realizing how much energy resistance itself consumes. The constant inner contractions, whether from stress, emotional holding, or unconscious defense mechanisms—act like a low-grade tension running in the background. When those contractions begin to loosen, the sheer relief is accompanied by profound tiredness. It’s as if my system, after years of bracing, is finally asking, "Can I stop now?"

Why Letting Go Is So Exhausting

Resistance isn’t just mental, it lives in the body. Over time, these patterns become woven into the nervous system, and releasing them takes energy. While the mind may register relief, the body has to process and integrate what’s been let go of. This can trigger cycles of fatigue as the system recalibrates.

The process often isn’t linear. I’ve noticed waves of exhaustion followed by brief periods where energy returns—only for another layer to surface. At times, it feels like there’s no end to the unwinding, but I’ve also sensed that with each release, something is becoming freer and softer beneath the fatigue.

How to Move Through the Exhaustion of Release

If you’re moving through a similar process, here are a few things that might help:

1. Honor the Need for Rest – When fatigue arises, it’s not a sign that something is wrong, it’s a sign that your system is doing deep work. Whenever possible, allow yourself extra rest without guilt. Your body is recalibrating, and rest is not a luxury—it’s essential.

2. Trust the Rhythm – This process moves in waves. There may be moments of clarity and lightness, followed by exhaustion as deeper layers emerge. Trust that your system knows how to pace itself.

3. Find Micro-Rests – Even if life demands you keep moving, find small ways to rest throughout the day. A few deep breaths, closing your eyes for a moment, or softening your muscles during routine tasks can offer your body mini-breaks.

4. Simplify Where You Can – Not everything needs to be done at full effort. If possible, lighten your load. This isn’t the time to push yourself—doing the “good enough” version is sometimes the most compassionate choice.

5. Stay Present Without Forcing – It’s tempting to want to analyze or “fix” the process, but true release happens when we allow it to unfold naturally. Your body knows how to heal if given the space.

The Gift on the Other Side

While this process can feel endless, it’s also freeing. Every layer of resistance that dissolves is energy that returns to you—energy that was previously locked in tension. Over time, this unfolding can lead to a life that feels more spacious, more open, and less effortful.

If you find yourself exhausted by the act of letting go, know that you are not alone. Your body is doing profound work beneath the surface. Be patient with yourself, trust the process, and remember: on the other side of this fatigue lies a deeper freedom.